Just a Dream..

El dia 31 de Marzo hará un año que murió Momo. Nunca antes había perdido a ningún ser tan querido y tan cercano, nunca he sabido lo que se sentía, ahora lo sé, sobre todo alguien que ha vivido menos que tú y la sensación supongo que es parecida a la de los que pierden a un bebé o a un hijo, esta sensación de que algo no está bien, de que se supone que tienen que estar ahí contigo siempre y de que no sólo sufres, tampoco entiendes por qué ocurre.

Ayer soñé que era el día de mi cumpleaños. Estábamos mis padres, mi hermana y yo en casa, mi padre estaba diciendo que como era mi cumpleaños, podríamos comprar champan y marisco y darnos un homenaje, yo iba andando por la casa y vi a Momo entrando en una de las habitaciones, le vi de espaldas. Pensé en ese momento, la verdad, lo único que me apetece hacer el día de mi cumpleaños es sacar a mi perro.

Just a dream..

Journals

Just a thought..

Saturday, 21 February 2009

I have lost a sister today, it´s been a few months that we´ve been like this, phone call here message there, answers here, no answers there. But it´s official now. No interest, not a little interest really. Today, not a pound of decency, I would say. For me, really, everything is like this, it´s either important, or it´s not. I have seen my dad almost dying a few times, you know what I mean. I have spent plenty of sleepless nights at a hospital. You see what I mean. Don´t you? well then I will explain.

This thought comes from an article I wrote about having kids. Haven´t read it? I think it´s funny. Confirming my theory about why the hell do you need to have a child and bring up somebody that will turn out to be a lottery, either the best person in the world or the meanest one.. today I witnessed something specially sad (family wise) and I tell you something. I am only happy that I inherited this from my parents: I may not be a lucky person, but I´m usually right.


I only wish I will never need to witness this again. After the dream I had today about Momo and my birthday, this is the last thing I needed for today. But then again, I would do it a million times if needed. Even though it was real sad. Don´t feel like explaining.


It was just a thought.

Journals

Saturday, 7 Feb 2009

On how I feel.. 38 days smoke free and not a really hard thing to do, frankly. Amazingly. Have done it before, a few times, but never so easy. Can´t understand. On new year resolutions, I have also thought about changing other things about myself. Need to, really have to be more sociable. Need to go out often. Am not smoking so can sing more, better, need to get involved in it no matter what, so that I don´t look back when I´m fifty and realise I had a few dreams and found that, after all, everybody has a little dream that cannot always be fulfilled, and that it´s no big deal, just being one of the rest of the normal people in the world. What is it, perhaps my home economy, the changes at work, although on the other side I´m having a great time, what with my colleagues and with the band, really I don´t think I´ve ever met such a bunch of nice people in such a little time..

Hmm hang on, one more thing, I´m putting on weight, there is absolutely no excuse for it. Fine the first few days, weeks even, enough for now. And so I will need to put an end to it. No news of the swimming pool routine that I had set myself to follow last year. Gosh I just remembered that I was supposed to have been at the musical instruments faire today in the morning. Well may as well have forgotten about it, with no cash and all.

And people say, money is not that important. No, right, but I tell you something. Lately, one of the few things that put a smile on my face is looking at my email (for upcoming jobs) and looking at the Euribor today dot com, you know, just to check.

Anni B Sweet - A new discovery

..for me, at least.

147 views counting mine just now:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YAyv5ItHIc

I bet there will be thousands within a few months from now.. do me a favour, check it out for me.

Two interesting things: this girl is from Malaga, Spain, and second thing, no matter how much I suffered, if I was told my voice would become so harmonious, I would quit smoking for as long as it took. For ever, if that was what it took.

Enjoy.
Bea